Meet Judy, a busy mom with 3 active kids. Here is her story:
“Sometimes, when I experience the odd moment of sitting still, relaxing with a cup of ground coffee with hot milk and just 1 spoon of brown sugar, I long back to the days before the kids, having a job to go to with no other distractions. I could focus on my work and go home at night and chill.
But soon enough reality sets in and jerks me back to the present – a stay home mom with busy kids.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids to bits, but somewhere between running the household and driving the kids to school and school activities, I am losing the plot. I am being controlled by everything and everyone but myself. Everything regarding the kids is running on a tight schedule with no me time in there. I am not productive anymore and I am doubting myself a lot. Because of this, my confidence is taking a plunge into darkness.”
Does it sound familiar? Does it sound like your life?
Don’t despair, there is a solution, and no, it does not mean that your kids will be less busy or that you will necessarily have more time, after all, there are only 24 hours in a day!
By just tweaking a few things in your busy life, you will regain your sanity (and memory) and you will feel renewed, refreshed, in control and bursting with confidence again.
Are you ready to commit to increasing your value in the world?
Commit to a willingness to change. Nobody can bring about change in your life unless you commit.
Ask yourself now: “Am I ready to accept change?” If you answer with anything less than a resounding YES, or even with hesitation, do not read further! Sort out your inner feelings first. Your conscious and sub-conscious minds need to be in agreement first. They need to agree on a willingness to allow new ways into your life.
Committed? Congrats! Read on then.
2. Manage your Time
It is time to make some changes in your schedule. Just like Judy’s kids have tight schedules, she has to manage her available time as well.
Set time aside every day for those tasks you keep on neglecting. Schedule these times for every day of the week, even weekends if you initially need to. Maybe 30 minutes every morning will be sufficient, perhaps 1 hour or 2 hours. Doesn’t matter, just schedule it.
For example: You keep on forgetting to call the plumber for that leaking tap. You also need to make an appointment for your pets to be groomed. You have been slipping on these for weeks now. Well, now that you have a scheduled time for making these calls, you will do so.
3. Make Notes
Scheduling time to do tasks is one thing, but if you don’t know exactly what to do during that time, it is pretty much senseless, isn’t it?
So make list of what you need to address during your scheduled time. Follow these pointers when making your list:
a. It must be written down. If you don’t have paper and a pen handy, no problem. These days we all have smartphones. Even the most basic phones can take care of lists (either as notes or as reminders).
b. Prepare your list the previous night already, maybe before you go to sleep.
c. List all your tasks in order of importance, thereby identifying the top 3 or 5 tasks that must be completed before the day ends. Completing at least your top 3 or 5 tasks, will leave you with immense satisfaction at the end of the day.
d. Tick of the completed tasks. Once again, seeing your progress will lead to increased satisfaction levels, guaranteed!
Do this little experiment right now, before reading further:
1. Close your eyes and relax.
2. Imagine having a list with 5 items that need to be done and it has been outstanding for quite some time. Imagine feeling the stress, dissatisfaction and even disappointment for not getting around to it. (Can you feel it?)
3. Now, see in your imagination, how you complete these tasks, one after the other, and how you tick or scratch them off your list. How are you feeling just by experiencing this moment. Happy? Satisfied? Relaxed? (Can you feel that, too? Great feeling, isn’t it?)
4. Stick with it!
Sometimes you will feel the urge to slip back and go about your old ways. Don’t give in and don’t give up. Stick with it! Persevere and persist. It will become a lifestyle soon enough!
5. Tame the DMN
Huh? Say what?
No, it is not some sort of demon, or maybe it is. Without going into too much details, this is your Default Mode Network (DMN).
Sometimes it may seem like there is a little demon living inside your brain making you feel tense and miserable. Well, there is! Your brain has an internal network, the Default Mode Network (DMN) that, when active, continually generates an ocean of mental activity and body tension.
You experience the DMN in action when:
- Your mind wanders aimlessly and unproductively
- Your thoughts “spin” and your mind seems cluttered
- You can’t “turn your mind off”
- You find it difficult to concentrate
- You find it difficult to listen to others due to your own stream of thoughts
- You can’t sleep, even though exhausted, because your mind is running
- You feel “tired and wired”
- You experience intrusive thoughts
- Your mind races or you engage in obsessive thinking or brooding
- You feel chronic body tension or pressure
Allowing your mind to run in overdrive all the time is the cause of stress, lack of focus and lowered productivity.
Tame your DMN by deactivating the root cause of the tension or stress you are experiencing. This can be done through three stages:
- Identify. Identify the stressors, the situations in your life that causes these feelings.
- Tame the DMN. Deactivate the part of your brain that causes ongoing, chronic stress and activating your stress-free executive functioning around the area of concern in your life.
- Integrate. Finally, integrate a whole-minded way of being into your life, so that your former stressors are no longer a cause of stress in your life.
Seek the help of a NLP Practitioner or Life Coach to fully implement Taming your DMN.